My Why and How Asking Tough Questions Can Help You Reach Goals

Last Updated on June 17, 2022 by Stephanie

I recently read a book called “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek and it really drove home something that I’ve been working on a lot.  Since reading that book, I’ve read several others that all come back to the same idea. We should really be asking ourselves why a lot more than we already do. Actually, we should wake up and really be thinking about what we are doing in the day-to-day instead of just doing the same thing day in and day out. Want to reach goals? Ask yourself the tough questions!

I want to be transparent with my why so you can understand me a bit better! My goal with this site is super simple: I want to help people (especially moms and teachers) realize their potential while also helping them plan their days and their futures. Keep reading to see where this site came from and how asking the tough questions and reflecting can help you reach goals.

Knowing your why; how asking tough questions helps you reach goals; creating time for life.

The Crapshoot of 2020

That year sucked… like legit sucked.  I’m an elementary music teacher, and I love my job.  I still remember walking into my first class ever to teach and realizing that I was meant to teach.  March 13th of 2020 was the last time I would get to teach my students in person until the 2021-2022 school year.  I cried the day the Governor announced that we weren’t going back that year. I taught the entire 2020-2021 school year remotely. While I love that I got to teach at all, it broke my heart to not have students in my classroom.

Then, summer happened and we were able to do a bit more.  After that, Fall came and the bottom of my life fell out.  My mother died of COVID on October 27th of 2020, 9 days after her 63rd birthday, and after 3 weeks in the hospital.  To say 2020 sucked is a VAST understatement.  The day after she died, our babysitter called to let us know that her husband tested positive, and a few days later, so did my husband and me. Although we felt like crap, our health was coming from a good place and we were fine after a couple of weeks.

Mindset is Everything

I could have let October of 2020 absolutely destroy me, but I wiped my tears and I kept going.

I am a firm believer that when someone passes, they don’t want you to be upset about it.  My mom loved life and loved doing things and going places.  She loved her granddaughter after only getting to know her for a little over a year.  Why would I stop doing the things I know she loved because she was gone?

My mom with my Lexi girl in August of 2020 for her 1st birthday!

Do I occasionally get upset over totally random things, oh yes.  However, I take the moment and move on.  Probably one of the best things I’ve read that describes this is Michelle Obama’s autobiography, “Becoming.” There’s a scene in the book where they are in the car going from her father’s funeral or to her father’s funeral and she and her mother and brother are in there crying.  Then she says that they seemed to all have the same realization at the same time that this was not what their father would have wanted.  He would have thought they were being silly, and then they all started laughing.  I identified with that part so much that I sent off an email to Mrs. Obama letting her know how much that resonated with me.

The unexpected can happen at any moment. If we’ve learned anything in the last few years, it should be that. My journey was the typical one though… self-destruction, not really caring about what I was doing, and letting the stress pile up. Reaching your goals always takes a backseat when unexpected things happen in our lives.

Then What?

After that, I ate… food that I shouldn’t… too much of it.  I sat on my butt and didn’t do much of anything.  I went to CrossFit occasionally, but I just didn’t really have the fire for it that I did before everything went crazy and we shut down.  At some point, I realized I needed to get my crap together.  I weighed in over 200 pounds, which was a first, but I wasn’t surprised when I stepped on the scale.  While I still had all the amazing things in my life that so many lost like my job, my wonderful husband, my beautiful daughter, and my fantastic friends, I was not in a good place.

So again, I thought to myself, what do I want?  Well, I know what I want… I wanted to lose some weight, get back to the fitness level I was before I even had my daughter, be productive so school wasn’t so stressful, and bring back things to my life that I enjoyed doing like creating and reading. I wanted to create time for the things that mattered and to get out of that brain fog.

Bonus Insight

Notice how none of those things actually involved the people in my life? I don’t mention that I want to spend more time with my family. Spending time with friends didn’t make the list.

Here’s the deal: Those things did still matter to me. They mattered a LOT. However, this is where the bonus insight comes in.

You have to take care of yourself and get yourself in the right headspace before anything outside yourself is going to be the best it can be.

As my goal stated above, I have a heart for moms and teachers. We are notorious for the mindset of putting everyone else before ourselves. It is not selfish to take time for yourself and prioritize your health and mind. It is not selfish to want to reach goals in your life.

On To Asking Why

That is the question. You should ask why for everything because if you take a moment to think about why it might completely change your route. Asking why you chose goals helps you reach goals.

I felt better when I was at a healthier weight and being physically active.  School was stressful and I wanted to stop bringing stuff home.  I have always loved crafting and creating and reading, but that took a major backseat when my daughter was born and my stress level was high.

So I set my goals for the year and I actively worked towards them every day.  If you want to learn more about my goal-setting, check out my post about Setting Goals that Empower You. My health was most important to me. I joined Noom and now weigh in around 160 and have kept it off.  I have PRed more workouts than I can think of at CrossFit and find myself better than I was before.  Furthermore, I figured out systems that helped me get things done at school and home so I can leave with nothing in my hands.  Building your own systems for productivity is something I’m now absolutely passionate about. In the craziness, I also found a new crafting venture that I love… quilting.

When you allow yourself a moment to ask why you want something or why you are doing something, all that does is direct you towards the goals and aspirations you have for your life. It helps you focus on what actually matters. If you ask why and dig even deeper, how much better off would you be?

Now, Why Am I Sharing This With You?

I’m sharing this because if you’re reading it, you need it. You don’t stumble onto a blog post like this, you’re searching for something. I want readers to know that they are not alone in their experiences and thoughts. I want more people to set and reach goals in their lives.

We can all be better.  It is as simple as that.  We should absolutely be doing things that we love all the time.  You should be able to spend time with the people you care about as often as you want.  Other people’s opinions should be so far in the background that you have to search to find them.  You should treat your body well so you can live a long, healthy life.

The past few years have brought out the best and worst in some, and I see so many people riddled with anxiety and stress and I want to support them.  Many told me that my mindset with everything with my mom was awesome.  I had a friend who found out more that took place during that whole time in my life who told me “I knew that you were strong, but I didn’t know you were that strong.”  That struck me because we are all so freaking strong, and we should be sharing our strengths every single day.  We should be acknowledging those awesome qualities we see in each other all the time, but we hold back.

Another Bonus Insight

Surround yourself with awesome freaking people! I couldn’t survive without my husband and daughter, all my friends, and my Fitfam of ladies at my gym. Find people that will walk the road with you, cry with you, support you, and tell it to you straight.

Take a Moment to Reflect

This post may get read by just a handful of people, and I’m okay with that.  If you’re reading this though, take a moment to reflect on a few things.

  • Are you doing what you want to be doing right now? (in life, in work, in love)
  • How is your health and can you do better?
  • What are you wasting time on every day?
  • Do you ever find yourself saying that you “don’t have time to …..”?
  • If you had all the money and time in the world, what would you do? (this should be your main goal by the way)

After you’ve reflected, go back and think about your answers and ask why for each one.  If you aren’t doing what you want to be doing in your job, why?  Are you spending hours every day scrolling through your phone? Why? Why don’t you have time to exercise every day? How can you eliminate negativity and reach goals?

If at any time during your reflection, you feel like you don’t have any of the answers or you feel like you are overwhelmed… get help. Talk to someone. Reach out to your doctor, reach out to a friend. You are not alone. You may think you’re the only person that has dealt with a specific thing, but you aren’t! Reach out for help!

Closing Thoughts

For those that stuck it through to the end of this, thank you.  I’m going to continue putting things on this site that I believe can help other people. It wasn’t my usual planner or productivity post, but I figured you all deserved a bit more from me. Now, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and working through life and setting goals. I want you to reach goals and have the time of your life!

Did any of this resonate with you?  Let me know in the comments below.

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